


It's Not Incest If You're Adopted

by Dillian



Series: Springtime Exchange -- 2017 [2]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: 1970's AU, And Loki's Not Really Gay (he tells himself hopefully), And Thor's Perfect Of Course, M/M, Not Really Incest, Suburban Family Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 12:05:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10099868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dillian/pseuds/Dillian
Summary: First, take the house from the Brady Bunch.  Then, put Loki and Thor in it.  Thor's sort of/kind of the Greg, in this scenario, and Loki is pretty much Jan, only a little older.  What's going to happen?  Well, nothing much, probably, because that Brady-Bunch worldview sort of strait-jackets everyone, and keeps things really innocent.  There's going to be stuff that should happen, though.  This story is about that stuff.Double song-tags on this one, because I don't know why, just, maybe, you know, because  they illustrate the tension?  Sort of?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DaimeryanRei](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaimeryanRei/gifts).



**_The Avengers_ ** **,** **_Iron Man_ ** **,** **_Thor_ ** **, and** **_Captain America_ ** **, and all situations and characters thereof, belong strictly and solely to Marvel Comics.  This is a fan-work, meant for enjoyment only, and not for any material profit.**

“Here's a story,of a lovely lady   
Who was bringing up three very lovely girls.   
All of them had hair of gold, like their mother,   
The youngest one in curls.

Here's a story, of a man named Brady.   
Who was busy with three boys of his own.   
They were four men living all together,   
Yet they were all alone.

Till the one day when the lady met this fellow.   
And they knew it was much more than a hunch,   
That this group must somehow form a family,   
That's the way we all became the Brady bunch.

The Brady bunch, the Brady bunch.   
That's the way they became the Brady bunch. ”   
\--Theme song from  _ The Brady Bunch _ , 1967-1974

“Hey there, people, I'm Bobby Brown,   
They say I'm the cutest boy in town.   
My car is fast, my teeth is shiny,   
I tell all the girls they can kiss my heinie.   
Here I am at a famous school,   
I'm dressin' sharp 'n' I'm actin' cool.   
I got a cheerleader here wants to help with my paper,   
Let her do all the work 'n' maybe later I'll rape her

Oh God I am the American dream,   
I do not think I'm too extreme.   
An' I'm a handsome son of a bitch,   
I'm gonna get a good job 'n' be real rich ”   
\-- Frank Zappa, “Bobby Brown”

“Want to hear a joke?  Thor practices the guitar  _ naked _ .”  Ha-ha, hee-hee, ho-ho, goes Volstagg, who always has to make everything into a joke (just one of his many, many annoying qualities).  Naturally, all the others laugh too.  Fandral, Hogun, even Sif, who’s usually pretty sensible (for a girl).  Loki doesn’t laugh, though, he just starts thinking about Thor, naked.

He can’t be really naked, can he?  Big electric guitar of his, that he picked out, out of the Sears&Roebuck catalog, and then “Santa” brought it for him, for Christmas:  That thing’s got that shiny paint all over it, think of that, against your bare skin.  Think of the sweat:  Hot already, even though it’s only May, and, in that attic room Mom and Dad let Thor move into?  Can you imagine?

Loki imagines.   There are a lot of problems when your widowed mom marries a guy who already has five kids, for instance, just one example?  Why does  _ Thor _ get a room for himself?  Loki’s the same age as he is, think he doesn’t want an escape from the little annoyings now and then too?  But Thor gets everything, no matter what happens, it’s always Thor, Thor, Thor, and never any time for Loki.  And now, here’s this other problem, that never even occurred to anybody apparently, because they’ve certainly never talked about it:

Thor’s Loki’s brother, but he’s not his  _ brother _ .  You dig the importance of that distinction?

Let’s put it another way:  Take Sif, for instance, who’s reasonably pretty, for a girl.  She’s 14, Loki’s 15, what if she fell in love with him?  14-year old chicks do fall in love with 15-year old dudes, it happens all the time.  And they’re not really brother-and-sister, at least, they are now, but only by adoption.  What then?  Is it still incest even though they’re not related?

Maybe that explains it for you?  Most of it, anyway?  Of course then there’s the other factor too, which we’re not going to talk about, not now, probably not ever.  Whole world out there, that’s different from the world in here; maybe that stuff’s okay out there, but in here?  At the Odinson house?

Put aside everything you know.  All that stuff about Stonewall, and the Village People, gay discos, people boogieing down to Donna Summer, then going to the back room, and  _ getting it on _ .  Whole world of new ideas, and new values out there, but this is the Odinson house, things are different in here.

Bare-board floor, upstairs in the attic.  Thor found a raggedy piece of shag carpet somewhere, and he dragged it up there, but it hardly covers anything.  And then there’s his bed, mattress on the floor, covered with one of those bedspreads, you get at Pier One.  Strings of bead-curtains, that serve no purpose, since it’s just one room up there, and a lava lamp, that Thor put on top of the trunk with Mom’s wedding dress in it.

Her  _ first _ wedding dress.  From her first marriage, the one to Loki’s father.  Who isn’t Odin.  Can’t repeat that often enough,  _ there is no blood relationship here _ .  And so if something happened, that would be okay, right?  Leaving aside all the Stonewall/Village People complications anyway, wouldn’t it be all right?  Where’s the harm, if you’re not really related?  Can’t be incest then, can it?  And boom, before he knows it, Loki’s thinking about his brother again, his not-real, not-related, adopted-brother:

Thor’s all tan, from laying out every day, after school.  He should be doing his homework, but he lays out instead.  Thor always makes his girlfriends do all his homework (and they always say, “Yes, yes, of course, Thor,” because they’re annoying that way).  He’s got this puka-shell necklace he wears, that’s always really white, against his tanned, tanned throat…   _ Uggh, just like that:  Mental picture of those white puka shells, and the bare, tanned chest.  And Thor’s muscles, which are perfect muscles, because he’s always lifting weights or something, when he’s not laying out. _  ...And, the feathered blond hair, like Peter Frampton’s, lazy blue eyes underneath, and that lazy, Thor-smile…

Want to know why the annoying-girlfriends are always doing his homework?  That smile says it all.  Thor’s been coasting on that smile his whole life, probably.  He’s certainly been doing it ever since Loki’s known him.

__________________________

[Some time passes.  Maybe an hour or so.]

The annoyings are all out in the back yard now, but Loki can still hear them.  How are you supposed to supposed to study for your Friday Geometry test, with a lot of children screaming, right outside your window?  Answer:  You can’t.  It’s impossible.  It’s also impossible to even try to read.   _ Houghton-Mifflin Consolidated English 10 _ has never seemed so worthless.  And this is why Loki goes upstairs.  It’s the only reason, so don’t get any ideas.  Loki also doesn’t have any ideas in his brain, there is absolutely nothing in there about darned Thor and his Peter Frampton-hair, and his tanned, bare chest.  And, practicing the guitar naked?  Pfft, nobody could do that.  It’s too sweaty up in the attic, he’d probably short out his Stratocaster.

Thor’s not naked, Loki sees, as he’s coming up the stairs.  He’s wearing his shirt from the Davey Jones concert, the really tattered one, with all the holes in it, that Mom’s tried to get rid of, like ten jillion times.  That shirt’s so thin he might as well be naked, though.  You can see all his muscles through that shirt, and even his belly-button…   _ Mental picture again.  Jeez, these mental pictures!  Sweaty belly-button:  What’s even sexy about a sweaty belly-button?  Nothing, right?  Jeez! _

...What he sees coming up the stairs:  Peter Frampton-blond hair first, shining like a halo in the light from the shop-lamp Thor stole out of the workshop in the garage.  Chest next, tattered-y concert t-shirt, and the blue Strat, that Thor pretentiously calls The Hammer of the Gods.  Up a few more steps…  Loki can now see the can of beer on the floor.  The old man would be mad, if he caught Loki taking one of those, but Thor?

“Sure, feel free, take all you want,”  _ he’d _ probably say, even if Thor took every can of Schlitz left in the fridge.

And, up a few more steps, and…

Loki’s mouth falls open.  Who would have believed it, Volstagg was actually right!  Not naked, but…  Oh wow, oh my gosh, oh jeez!

Where are Thor’s jeans?  Where are his BVDs, for that matter, where’s anything?  Two words:   _ Unwrapped package _ .  Do we need to spell it out any better than that?

And, Loki almost runs straight back down the stairs, but really, where’s the big deal if he walks in on Thor like this, they’re brothers, aren’t they?  And he keeps climbing the stairs, gets all the way up, then a casual, “Hi, Thor,” and he’s right there with him, in his bedroom.

Thor flips perfect feathered hair out of his perfect blue eyes.  “Hi, Loki.”

“Mind if I stay for a while?”

Thor’s like, “Yeah, sure, no big deal.”

Loki’s talking too much for some reason:  Blah-blah, annoying-Volstagg, and blah-blah, Math, and blah-blah-blah something else, it’s like there’s no stopping him.

Thor barely looks up.  “Yeah,” he says, “I hear you, no big deal.”  He goes back to his playing.  He’s horrible, by the way.  The Hammer of the Gods would probably be better used as an actual hammer, for actual assaults, instead of just assaulting everybody’s eardrums.  But Thor doesn’t care, and, sitting there, Loki doesn’t really care that much either.

And after a while, Thor puts the guitar away.  He sits down next to Loki on the bed.  “Want a beer?” He drags the six-pack over by that plastic fastener-thing, pops a warm Schlitz and hands it to Loki.

Loki takes it.  His fingers just barely brush Thor’s, just for a second, under a foam of beer, warm as…   _ Warm as all the exciting, passionate things, and fluids, that men are probably sharing, all over the country, they’re in the gay discos, or at the Stonewall, or wherever, and they are sharing things, and ooh, wow, can you dig the hot action? _

...He takes the beer.  Brief brush of fingers, and a warm look, from Thor’s groovy blue eyes.  “Thanks,” Loki says.  He drinks, then coughs a little, from too much foam.

Thor laughs some, but it’s a friendly laugh.  “No problem,” he says.  “We’re brothers, aren’t we?  Brothers share.”


End file.
